Before, the Bridge, and After

Finding Myself in Life’s Third Act

I thought it was just another asthma attack. My chest tightened as I struggled to breathe, and my legs felt like they were made of lead.

But in an ER room under harsh fluorescent lights, I heard the words: “You have a pulmonary embolism.” Just like that, my life once again split into before and after.

Before that day, “putting myself first” sounded selfish. I was the dependable one—always there for others, always putting myself last. After my divorce and then a prostate cancer diagnosis, I felt like my life didn’t matter much. I was lost, unappreciated, convinced I was just taking up space.

Then came the bridge—the in-between nobody talks about. The nights alone after the divorce, wondering who I was without a role to play. The endless doctor visits, facing my own mortality. Fear, then anger, then the surrender to a deeper question: What if I don’t have forever? What if I finally put myself first?

And now, after. At 64, I figured it out. Forced to focus on myself, I found I still have so much to offer. The crisis cracked me open, and the old beliefs fell away. I see now that my life has meaning—not because others say so, but because I say so.

I’m in the third act of my life now, and I’m choosing to write a finale that matters. Every moment that broke me was a plot point. Now, I’m the author of my ending—ready to finish the story with purpose.

A Gentle Reflection for You

Maybe you’re in your own before-and-after moment right now. Maybe you’re standing on a bridge that feels uncertain or uncomfortable. Maybe you’re wondering if it’s too late to change direction or claim your own meaning.

If there’s one thing my journey has taught me, it’s this:

It’s never too late to choose yourself.
It’s never too late to rewrite your story.
And it’s never too late to begin living like your life truly matters—because it does.

The person you were before did the best they could with what they knew.
The person you are now is still becoming.
And the bridge between them holds more wisdom than you may realize.

As for me, I’m still writing. Still learning. Still stepping into this third act with intention and gratitude.

And for the first time in a long time, I’m not afraid of how the story ends—because I finally feel like the author of what comes next.

Gentle Takeaway

Before and after moments don’t arrive to break you—they arrive to introduce you to a deeper version of yourself.

The person you were before was doing their best with the awareness they had.
The person you are now is shaped by every bridge you’ve crossed—every quiet decision to keep going, every moment you chose growth over fear.

You don’t need to have your whole life figured out to move forward with purpose. Sometimes meaning reveals itself not in grand victories, but in the small, honest choices you make each day to live more truthfully.

If you’re in the middle of your own bridge right now, be patient with yourself. Transformation rarely feels clear while you’re inside it. But one day you may look back and realize that the very season that felt uncertain was the one that brought you home to yourself.