There was a time when I avoided the truth because I was afraid of rejection.
If I did not want to do something, I softened my answer. I delayed it, bent it, or buried it beneath an explanation. I told myself I was protecting someone else’s feelings.
Most of the time, I was protecting my need to be accepted.
I had a similar problem with affirmations. Standing in front of a mirror and saying, “I am abundant,” felt dishonest when there was less than a dollar and a quarter in my bank account.
I even kept a two-dollar bill tucked inside my wallet so I could tell myself I was never completely broke.
The gesture made me smile, but it also revealed the problem. I was trying to replace an uncomfortable truth before I had admitted it.
I was struggling financially.
I was afraid.
I wanted things to change.
Those statements did not sound inspiring, but they were honest. Once I could say them, I no longer had to pretend that everything was fine before I could begin moving.
Dr. Latrice often reminded me, “The truth is good enough.”
It took time for me to understand what that meant.
The truth did not require me to surrender hope. It gave hope something real to stand on. I could acknowledge where I was without deciding that I would remain there forever.
The same thing happened with my relationships. When I did not want to do something, I began trying to say so. When I was afraid of disappointing someone, I admitted that too. When I wanted success, I stopped pretending that wanting it made me selfish.
Honesty did not make every conversation comfortable. It did reduce the number of stories I had to maintain.
I still care what people think. I still catch myself softening an answer when a direct one feels dangerous. The difference is that I can recognize what I am doing.
Sometimes growth is not about adding another affirmation.
Sometimes it begins by subtracting what is not true.
Alignment Before Outcome
I once believed alignment required me to sound confident before I felt confident.
What I needed was a more honest starting point.
“I am afraid” could be true without becoming a permanent identity. “I am struggling” could describe the moment without predicting the future. “I want more” could be an honest desire rather than something to hide.
The truth did not make me fearless.
It gave me something solid to stand on.
Quote
“The truth did not make me fearless. It gave me something solid to stand on.”
